All rumors, chit-chat, hot gossip, hearsay, and evidence of the Secret Dental Police is completely false and nothing but slander from Big Plaque.  Some will still insist that the riot in Shiny Teeth Park is proof of the existence of the Secret Dental Police.  Do not believe this heresy, do not even believe the video taken by some of the protesters.  They can’t be trusted if they can’t even brush their teeth to the full amount of 5 mandatory brushes a day.  If they don’t care about their own mouths, they don’t care about the general welfare.  All further talk of the Shiny Teeth Park riot or of the Secret Dental Police will result in soap in the mouth to clean out the filth, no, not tide pods.

If we were ever to establish the Secret Dental Police, it would not be anytime soon.  Even if it were a thing, its called secret for a reason.

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